He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm like, not good at living.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
