just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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