just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
