the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
