i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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