there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize