if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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