Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
