Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
