all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
