i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
