watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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