weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
