I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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