i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
