i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize