okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
nutella sex= disaster
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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