how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Duck Duck Cougar?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
