He is an equal opportunity slut.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Never joke about your clitoris.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
