Where did you get a picture of my penis
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
