12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
