Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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