Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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