covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
