I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
