She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
