the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
