It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
