i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
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homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
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they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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