u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
