JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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