Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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