i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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