First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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