Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he was CRYING into my vagina
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
