Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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