You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
