I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
