he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
