If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
