Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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