am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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