DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my being single is dangerous.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
