think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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