Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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