I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
