last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
