she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
