Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
