i think i have herpe
just one?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
