I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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