i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
