i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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