Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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