please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
