honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He did a backflip because drugs
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
