i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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