worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
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Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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