my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
